September 23, 2008


I ran into an old aquaintaince of mine at the soccer field the other day. He went through a divorce about 18 months before I did.

We took a few minutes to catch up, and he asked me how I was doing. I told him that I was doing well; that I have been seeing someone who has become very important in my life, but that there are still tough days dealing with the baggage and pain of my divorce.

He said something that stuck with me. "Yeah," he said, "when you're in a relationship that long, it's difficult to get untangled from each other."

Untangled. I'd never heard it put like that before, but it's so very true. My ex and I were together for 23 years. Every part of our lives was intertwined. The psuedo-physical untangling - cars, home, assets, etc. - is one thing, but the emotional untangling is altogether different and, from what I've experienced, much harder. Probably more so for the divorcee rather than the divorcer.

And honestly, at the dissolution of a very long relationship, do you every really completely untangle from the other person? My guess is no, at least not that I can see. And should you, really?

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